Theatrical Muse; Describe your worst failure.

Now why would I write about failure?
My Gigs aren't all quite what they seem.
But there was that time in Australia,
When something new came on the scene.

It was back in the days of the transport ships
When the convicts got sent on their way
When the Brits caught the prigs and the pocket-snips,
And they sent them to Botany Bay.

They piled them all into the prison hulks,
Saying, "You'll be transported" but then,
When they got the whole group to the colonies,
They found they'd got too many men.

So they looked through the dives and the knocking-shops,
And they checked through the prisons each day,
And they picked up the moppets and dolly-mops,
And they sent them to Botany Bay.

Now, I'd never worked out in Australia,
I didn't know that place at all,
and it set me right up for a failure,
When a cutpurse girl gave me a call!

She sang that she’d prigged her some sparklers,
(With my talisman in the display)
And they’d tried her at Newgate and sentenced her
To be taken to Botany Bay.

I never found out where she hid it,
But she kept it although she was caught,
And she had someone read her the summonsing
As the prison ship came into port.

So the convicts came in to land singing,
Singing “Turalie, turalie-ay,
Take care you’re not caught for your sinning,
Or you’ll join us in Botany Bay!”

The sailors were singing of bonuses,
The convicts were singing of home,
As they went from the boat to the settlements,
Away from the sea and the foam.

I wouldn’t have called it a failure,
The Gig ran quite well in its way,
But there’s new wildlife there in Australia
And there’s … creatures ‘round Botany Bay.

The sailors were dancing a hornpipe,
The convicts were singing like stars,
When a chorus came winging to drown them out,
A flock of these birds called Galahs!

The Gig it got really uproarious,
When the Galah-birds came out to play,
And I couldn’t hear solos or chorus,
When they joined us at Botany Bay.

So I shifted the Gig to a settlement
And the subtext was getting quite deep,
When I heard a wild screech like a bagpipe,
And a Bunyip arose in the creek!

Bunyip voices are high supersonic
But that’s not a tune I want to play,
And it seemed that the problems are chronic
With the wildlife ‘round Botany Bay.

That’s when I decided to split the scene,
Drop the Gig and just quit and go home.
And that meant that I just couldn’t take a Queen,
So Matilda waltzed off on her own…


Muse; Sweet the Singing Demon,
Fandom, BTVS
Words. 400