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singindemonhqI seem to have been to so many places recently that I'm not quite sure how this little notebook ended up in my pocket. If anyone claims it please will they contact me?
Lady Martha of the Stewart Clan's
Beltane Planner
April 1:
Finalize guestlist for Beltane shindig.
Decide that Al Gore will be the May King
this year, seeing as Bill was it last year.
Cross off Monica as possible May Queen,
considering the fiasco from last year.
Perhaps Janet Reno would
consent to being May Queen this year?
Have my people contact her people.
April 2:
Check jousting fields out back and mow.
Meet with vet at noon for inspection of
destiers.
April 3:
Confirm the Skyclad Strolling Minstrels
for the party.
Make paper for Beltane invitations out
of papyrus growing in water garden.
April 4:
Coven meeting. Channel Sybil Leek.
April 5-10:
Fly to Ireland to collect the nine sacred
woods necessary for the Beltane fire.
Meet with the Sidhe to arrange for special
guest appearances by the Dagda and
Aengus.
Have dinner with Bono et wife.
April 11:
Special guest appearance at the Temple of
the Pleasant Fabrics to discuss new
ways to worship satin.
April 12:
Meet with florist to special order flowers
from Hawaii to float in pool.
Inspect back yard for poison ivy, spray
with organic herbicide.
April 13:
Craft horn crown for the May King out of
sculpty.
Craft flower headdress for May Queen out
of silk flowers specially ordered from
the Temple of Pleasant fabrics.
April 14:
Send out invites for party, confirm Al as
May King. Janet backed out, have my people call
Rosie's people.
April 15:
Beat tax accountant with flogger for not
getting me a large enough tax return.
April 16:
Special guest appearance on Rosie.
Confirm Rosie as May Queen.
April 17:
Spray poison ivy with organic herbicide,
again.
Mow jousting field, again.
Informal party with the jousters in the
hayloft of the barn.
April 18:
Pull rest of hay out of hair.
Meet with house staff to review party
menu.
Check the mead in the basement.
Coven meeting, Movie Night! Bring
popcorn-on-ears grown in garden last
year for snack.
April 19-21:
Quicky visit to the Caribbean for deep sea
fishing with "The Boys."
April 22:
Begin receiving RSVP's for party.
Mow jousting field again.
Use non-organic herbicide on poison ivy.
April 23:
Inspect 18-foot imported farm-grown teak
Maypole.
Sand smooth, polish to a sheen with Lady
Martha of the Stewart Clan's Personal
Lubricant.
Flog staff member for video-taping the
polishing.
April 24:
Erect Maypole in backyard. Plant petunias
from BigK around the base.
Make silk ribbons for Maypole.
April 25:
Wymin meeting! Get in touch with my
masculine side.
April 26:
Begin construction of Robe of Flowers to
resemble Bloudewedd for Beltane.
Bake 25 dozen Devil's Food cakes
and freeze.
Sugar 3 pounds of violets to garnish;
refrigerate.
April 27:
Mow jousting field.
Spray poison ivy with
commercial-strength herbicide.
April 28:
Begin chilling mead on imported ice block
imported from Greenland.
Fold 200 cloth napkins to resemble male
and female genitalia.
April 29:
Pick up the Dagda and Aengus in
backyard circle of stone/portal.
Situate them comfortably in
the hill out back.
April 30:
Small ritual to celebrate the end of winter
with the coven, the Dagda, and Aengus.
Do the wild thing with The Dagda and
Aengus in the bushes.
May 1:
Buy mass quantities of Homeopathic
Calamine lotion at BigK and apply
to rash.
Hire new subcontractor to pull up poison
ivy still hiding in the bushes.
Carve 60 pounds of fresh fruit to resemble
flowers.
May 2: Party!
Finish flower robe by hot-gluing flower
petals to silk robe.
Bathe in homeopathic calamine.
Flog staff members just for the hell of it.
Take homeopathic Benadryl for itch.
Arrange flowers on top of maypole.
Make 20 gallons of fresh squeezed lemonade.
Have staff strategically place Pagan
Condoms throughout the house and
yard.
Ride in on white mare.
Greet guests.
Forget took benadryl and drink copious
amounts of mead.
Barf in bushes.
Dance nekkid around the maypole.
Crown Al and Rosie.
Jump the fire.
Test Al's fitness to be the new King of the
Land.
May 3:
Send Al home.
Thank the gods I'm not Tipper.
Bathe in homeopathic calamine again.
Start making plans for Lughnasdha.
(author unknown; if anyone knows I will gladly add the name.)
Lady Martha of the Stewart Clan's
Beltane Planner
April 1:
Finalize guestlist for Beltane shindig.
Decide that Al Gore will be the May King
this year, seeing as Bill was it last year.
Cross off Monica as possible May Queen,
considering the fiasco from last year.
Perhaps Janet Reno would
consent to being May Queen this year?
Have my people contact her people.
April 2:
Check jousting fields out back and mow.
Meet with vet at noon for inspection of
destiers.
April 3:
Confirm the Skyclad Strolling Minstrels
for the party.
Make paper for Beltane invitations out
of papyrus growing in water garden.
April 4:
Coven meeting. Channel Sybil Leek.
April 5-10:
Fly to Ireland to collect the nine sacred
woods necessary for the Beltane fire.
Meet with the Sidhe to arrange for special
guest appearances by the Dagda and
Aengus.
Have dinner with Bono et wife.
April 11:
Special guest appearance at the Temple of
the Pleasant Fabrics to discuss new
ways to worship satin.
April 12:
Meet with florist to special order flowers
from Hawaii to float in pool.
Inspect back yard for poison ivy, spray
with organic herbicide.
April 13:
Craft horn crown for the May King out of
sculpty.
Craft flower headdress for May Queen out
of silk flowers specially ordered from
the Temple of Pleasant fabrics.
April 14:
Send out invites for party, confirm Al as
May King. Janet backed out, have my people call
Rosie's people.
April 15:
Beat tax accountant with flogger for not
getting me a large enough tax return.
April 16:
Special guest appearance on Rosie.
Confirm Rosie as May Queen.
April 17:
Spray poison ivy with organic herbicide,
again.
Mow jousting field, again.
Informal party with the jousters in the
hayloft of the barn.
April 18:
Pull rest of hay out of hair.
Meet with house staff to review party
menu.
Check the mead in the basement.
Coven meeting, Movie Night! Bring
popcorn-on-ears grown in garden last
year for snack.
April 19-21:
Quicky visit to the Caribbean for deep sea
fishing with "The Boys."
April 22:
Begin receiving RSVP's for party.
Mow jousting field again.
Use non-organic herbicide on poison ivy.
April 23:
Inspect 18-foot imported farm-grown teak
Maypole.
Sand smooth, polish to a sheen with Lady
Martha of the Stewart Clan's Personal
Lubricant.
Flog staff member for video-taping the
polishing.
April 24:
Erect Maypole in backyard. Plant petunias
from BigK around the base.
Make silk ribbons for Maypole.
April 25:
Wymin meeting! Get in touch with my
masculine side.
April 26:
Begin construction of Robe of Flowers to
resemble Bloudewedd for Beltane.
Bake 25 dozen Devil's Food cakes
and freeze.
Sugar 3 pounds of violets to garnish;
refrigerate.
April 27:
Mow jousting field.
Spray poison ivy with
commercial-strength herbicide.
April 28:
Begin chilling mead on imported ice block
imported from Greenland.
Fold 200 cloth napkins to resemble male
and female genitalia.
April 29:
Pick up the Dagda and Aengus in
backyard circle of stone/portal.
Situate them comfortably in
the hill out back.
April 30:
Small ritual to celebrate the end of winter
with the coven, the Dagda, and Aengus.
Do the wild thing with The Dagda and
Aengus in the bushes.
May 1:
Buy mass quantities of Homeopathic
Calamine lotion at BigK and apply
to rash.
Hire new subcontractor to pull up poison
ivy still hiding in the bushes.
Carve 60 pounds of fresh fruit to resemble
flowers.
May 2: Party!
Finish flower robe by hot-gluing flower
petals to silk robe.
Bathe in homeopathic calamine.
Flog staff members just for the hell of it.
Take homeopathic Benadryl for itch.
Arrange flowers on top of maypole.
Make 20 gallons of fresh squeezed lemonade.
Have staff strategically place Pagan
Condoms throughout the house and
yard.
Ride in on white mare.
Greet guests.
Forget took benadryl and drink copious
amounts of mead.
Barf in bushes.
Dance nekkid around the maypole.
Crown Al and Rosie.
Jump the fire.
Test Al's fitness to be the new King of the
Land.
May 3:
Send Al home.
Thank the gods I'm not Tipper.
Bathe in homeopathic calamine again.
Start making plans for Lughnasdha.
(author unknown; if anyone knows I will gladly add the name.)
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no subject
Date: 2003-04-15 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
no subject
Date: 2003-04-15 02:01 pm (UTC)Maybe as Bill Clinton.
no subject
Date: 2003-04-15 02:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-15 07:16 pm (UTC)no subject
no subject
Date: 2003-04-15 02:00 pm (UTC)*giggles*
People are going to think we're the same person soon... ;)
no subject
no subject
Date: 2003-04-15 11:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-15 11:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-04-16 01:15 am (UTC)*sits in front of her computer, listening to the silence of her empty apartment, and sighs*
What are you doing now, Sweet?
no subject