Family Practice
Jun. 7th, 2004 06:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
singindemonhqThe Corona De La Sangre dojo is still running. It takes a while to learn those kinds of skills, especially if you've spent a couple of millenia depending on mojo. It was quite tricky in some ways, during the Hunters' Moon, but things should settle down, now.
I've picked up some experience since we've been travelling through the last four of five dimensions, but there's always more to learn - that's the idea behind having the dojo, of course.
By the customs where I come from the operative just meets whoever fate serves up and takes her away with him. I've never been too sure about how people here are supposed to feel about their in-laws - by the time they make a song and dance about it things have probably gone wrong. Anyway, the Little Wolf set it up so I was combat-paired with my brother-in-law.
I hadn't been over-pleased not to have been able to stay near enough to Erynne to be sure she was OK during the Hunters' Moon. I don't usually wait in the audience and sometimes it helps to just work off tension. I practice a lot anyway, but ... Stephen maybe had troubles of his own, too - at least when he found out about my combat methods. (I did not toast him! I didn't make the slightest attempt.) It's just natural for me to smoke out when anyone tries to get to close grips.
When Erynne they decided that it wasn't permitted I was Ok about it.
<Firewalled against all who mean harm,
see the words,
obey the charm. It might not do for Stephen and the rest of them to see how often that's creative use of illusion, anyway. A fast illusion can sometimes give me time to really smoke out or not, of course.
Then - my clothes do tend to ... reshape if somebody grabs at them... It's not "cheating". We're all learning new tricks,combat tricks, anyway. Using that much Mojo can use up a a lot of energy, if the operative gets out of practice, so I haven't had much time to update this journal and so on. I must think up some kind of training that Erynne and me can have some fun with.
I've picked up some experience since we've been travelling through the last four of five dimensions, but there's always more to learn - that's the idea behind having the dojo, of course.
By the customs where I come from the operative just meets whoever fate serves up and takes her away with him. I've never been too sure about how people here are supposed to feel about their in-laws - by the time they make a song and dance about it things have probably gone wrong. Anyway, the Little Wolf set it up so I was combat-paired with my brother-in-law.
I hadn't been over-pleased not to have been able to stay near enough to Erynne to be sure she was OK during the Hunters' Moon. I don't usually wait in the audience and sometimes it helps to just work off tension. I practice a lot anyway, but ... Stephen maybe had troubles of his own, too - at least when he found out about my combat methods. (I did not toast him! I didn't make the slightest attempt.) It's just natural for me to smoke out when anyone tries to get to close grips.
When
<Firewalled against all who mean harm,
see the words,
obey the charm. It might not do for Stephen and the rest of them to see how often that's creative use of illusion, anyway. A fast illusion can sometimes give me time to really smoke out
Then - my clothes do tend to ... reshape if somebody grabs at them... It's not "cheating". We're all learning new tricks,
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Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-27 07:18 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-27 07:19 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
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Date: 2004-06-27 07:21 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-27 07:22 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-27 07:22 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-27 07:23 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-27 07:24 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-27 07:24 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-27 07:25 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-27 07:25 am (UTC)The Original List
Date: 2004-06-27 07:27 am (UTC)My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
Re: The Original List
Date: 2004-06-27 07:28 am (UTC)When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
Re: The Original List
Date: 2004-06-27 07:28 am (UTC)One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
Re: The Original List
Date: 2004-06-27 07:29 am (UTC)When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
Re: The Original List
Date: 2004-06-27 07:30 am (UTC)No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
Re: The Original List
Date: 2004-06-27 07:31 am (UTC)I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
Re: The Original List
Date: 2004-06-27 07:31 am (UTC)I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
Re: The Original List
Date: 2004-06-27 07:32 am (UTC)If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
Re: The Original List
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From:Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-28 06:47 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-07-15 08:28 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-09-02 07:13 am (UTC)Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!
Date: 2004-06-28 06:46 am (UTC)