Family Practice

[singindemonhq]

The Corona De La Sangre dojo is still running. It takes a while to learn those kinds of skills, especially if you've spent a couple of millenia depending on mojo. It was quite tricky in some ways, during the Hunters' Moon, but things should settle down, now.

I've picked up some experience since we've been travelling through the last four of five dimensions, but there's always more to learn - that's the idea behind having the dojo, of course.

By the customs where I come from the operative just meets whoever fate serves up and takes her away with him. I've never been too sure about how people here are supposed to feel about their in-laws - by the time they make a song and dance about it things have probably gone wrong. Anyway, the Little Wolf set it up so I was combat-paired with my brother-in-law.

I hadn't been over-pleased not to have been able to stay near enough to Erynne to be sure she was OK during the Hunters' Moon. I don't usually wait in the audience and sometimes it helps to just work off tension. I practice a lot anyway, but ... Stephen maybe had troubles of his own, too - at least when he found out about my combat methods. (I did not toast him! I didn't make the slightest attempt.) It's just natural for me to smoke out when anyone tries to get to close grips.

When Erynne they decided that it wasn't permitted I was Ok about it.
<Firewalled against all who mean harm,
see the words,
obey the charm. It might not do for Stephen and the rest of them to see how often that's creative use of illusion, anyway. A fast illusion can sometimes give me time to really smoke out or not, of course.

Then - my clothes do tend to ... reshape if somebody grabs at them... It's not "cheating". We're all learning new tricks, combat tricks, anyway. Using that much Mojo can use up a a lot of energy, if the operative gets out of practice, so I haven't had much time to update this journal and so on. I must think up some kind of training that Erynne and me can have some fun with.

Comments

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

Despite the delicious irony, I will not force two heroes to fight each other in the arena.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

All members of my Legions of Terror will have professionally tailored uniforms. If the hero knocks a soldier unconscious and steals the uniform, the poor fit will give him away.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

I will never place the key to a cell just out of a prisoner's reach.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

Before appointing someone as my trusted lieutenant, I will conduct a thorough background investigation and security clearance.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

If I find my beautiful consort with access to my fortress has been associating with the hero, I'll have her executed. It's regrettable, but new consorts are easier to get than new fortresses and maybe the next one will pay attention at the orientation meeting.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

If I am escaping in a large truck and the hero is pursuing me in a small Italian sports car, I will not wait for the hero to pull up along side of me and try to force him off the road as he attempts to climb aboard. Instead I will slam on the brakes when he's directly behind me. (A rudimentary knowledge of physics can prove quite useful.)

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

My doomsday machine will have a highly-advanced technological device called a capacitor in case someone inconveniently pulls the plug at the last second. (If I have access to REALLY advanced technology, I will include a back-up device known as a battery.)

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

If I build a bomb, I will simply remember which wire to cut if it has to be deactivated and make every wire red.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

Before spending available funds on giant gargoyles, gothic arches, or other cosmetically intimidating pieces of architecture, I will see if there are any valid military expenditures that could use the extra budget.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

The passageways to and within my domain will be well-lit with fluorescent lighting. Regrettably, the spooky atmosphere will be lost, but my security patrols will be more effective.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

If I'm sitting in my camp, hear a twig snap, start to investigate, then encounter a small woodland creature, I will send out some scouts anyway just to be on the safe side. (If they disappear into the foliage, I will not send out another patrol; I will break out the napalm.)

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

I will instruct my guards when checking a cell that appears empty to look for the chamber pot. If the chamber pot is still there, then the prisoner has escaped and they may enter and search for clues. If the chamber pot is not there, then either the prisoner is perched above the lintel waiting to strike them with it or else he decided to take it as a souvenir (in which case he is obviously deeply disturbed and poses no threat). Either way, there's no point in entering.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

As an alternative to not having children, I will have lots of children. My sons will be too busy jockeying for position to ever be a real threat, and the daughters will all sabotage each other's attempts to win the hero.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

If I have children and subsequently grandchildren, I will keep my three-year-old granddaughter near me at all times. When the hero enters to kill me, I will ask him to first explain to her why it is necessary to kill her beloved grandpa. When the hero launches into an explanation of morality way over her head, that will be her cue to pull the lever and send him into the pit of crocodiles. After all, small children like crocodiles almost as much as Evil Overlords and it's important to spend quality time with the grandkids.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

If one of my daughters actually manages to win the hero and openly defies me, I will congratulate her on her choice, declare a national holiday to celebrate the wedding, and proclaim the hero my heir. This will probably be enough to break up the relationship. If not, at least I am assured that no hero will attack my Legions of Terror when they are holding a parade in his honor.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

I will order my guards to stand in a line when they shoot at the hero so he cannot duck and have them accidentally shoot each other. Also, I will order some to aim above, below, and to the sides so he cannot jump out of the way.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

My dungeon cell decor will not feature exposed pipes. While they add to the gloomy atmosphere, they are good conductors of vibrations and a lot of prisoners know Morse code.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

If my surveillance reports any un-manned or seemingly innocent ships found where they are not supposed to be, they will be immediately vaporized instead of brought in for salvage.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

I will classify my lieutenants in three categories: untrusted, trusted, and completely trusted. Promotion to the third category will be awarded posthumously

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

Before ridiculing my enemies for wasting time on a device to stop me that couldn't possibly work, I will first acquire a copy of the schematics and make sure that in fact it couldn't possibly work.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[w-rosenberg.livejournal.com]

Ropes supporting various fixtures will not be tied next to open windows or staircases, and chandeliers will be hung way at the top of the ceiling.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[singindemonhq.livejournal.com]

That's a good trick. *Looks at Erynne.* Is it time for us to start training your neice?

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[http://users.livejournal.com/dana_scully_/]

Well, then don't invite guests for Halloween.

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[faith-slays.livejournal.com]

*blinks*
Ooh, I just love meetings--and evil overlords! *said with
vast amounts of sarcasm*

Re: OOC--okay, here I am again!

[faith-slays.livejournal.com]

*suspiciously* Now, we're sure Queen C ain't related to this
dude, right?